Thursday, July 16, 2009
this is amazing. im finally getting a taste of it. of what people alw describe in songs, books, films.
it's amazing luh. how i wish life wasn't so complicated. rather, how i wish I werent so complicated. can't i be a little simpler?
hours ago i doodled something on my history notes, hours later i'm having an unpleasant conversation, i couldn't feel what i was feeling during history, i couldn't say, i just couldn't speak it. why huh?
why the sudden change, sock?
you're so unfathomable.
(i am talking about myself.)
(wth right, i can't fathom myself.)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
i musn't be so demanding of a friend i musn't be so demanding of a friend i musn't be so demanding of a friend i musn't be so demanding of a friend i musn't be so demanding of a friend
i need to start learning life's lessons and become a better person, grit my teeth and live through it or even better, learn and believe in the changes i need to make in myself.
had a not-so-pleasant night but i really need to learn,
this feels so nasty. ):
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Sorry for spamming Chinese lyrics but... I've always avoided this song on my brother's player cos I thought it ain't nice but turns out it has some amazing words (:
思念是一种病
当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
一辈子有多少的来不及
发现 已经 失去
最重要的东西
恍然大悟 早已远去
为何总是在犯错之后
才肯相信 错的是自己
他们说这就是人生
试著体会 试著忍住眼泪
还是躲不开应该有的情绪
我不会奢求世界停止转动
我知道逃避一点都没有用
只是这段时间里 尤其在夜里
还是会想起 难忘的事情
我想我的思念是一种病
久久不能痊愈
当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
汲汲营营
忘记身边的人需要爱和关心
藉口总是拉远了距离
不知不觉 无声无息
我们总是在抱怨事与愿违
却不愿意回头看看自己
想想自己 到底做了甚麼蠢事情
也许是上帝给我一个试炼
只是这伤口需要花点时间
只是会想念 过去的一切
那些人事物 会离我远去
而我们终究也会远离
变成回忆
当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
Oh 思念是一种病
Oh 思念是一种病 一种病
多久没有说我爱你
多久没有拥抱你所爱的人
当这个世界不在那麼美好
只有爱可以让他更好
我相信一切都来得及
别管那些纷纷扰扰
别让不开心的事 停下了脚步
就怕你不说 就怕你不做
别让遗憾继续 一切都来得及
当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息
Oh 思念是一种病
Oh 思念是一种病 一种病
Monday, July 13, 2009
红豆
还没好好的感受
雪花绽放的气候
我们一起颤抖
会更明白什么是温柔
还没跟你牵著手
走过荒芜的沙丘
可能从此以后学会珍惜
天长和地久
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流
还没为你把红豆
熬成缠绵的伤口
然后一起分享
会更明白相思的哀愁
还没好好的感受
醒著亲吻的温柔
可能在我左右
你才追求孤独的自由
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流
I'd consider today the first day of school, first day delving into the infinite realms of knowledge again. First day of learning the remaining new stuff we have yet to do and at the same time loads and loads of revisiting stuff learnt in the past (9 weeks to do everything!)
Despite my sleepiness I felt super motivated in school today. Miss Lim showed us MJ videos during Econs lecture. I enjoy her lectures cos she finds ways to make us awake, though she tends to digress too... but yes I can always see the structure of her lectures very definitely, and the way she tries to make us integrate everything into one big picture. Something I really appreciate because not all teachers will do the same. And it brings out the whole point about learning Econs!
Times with the class were enjoyable today, the jokes during lunchbreak were really funny what with Chester's face being covered just right in the class photo by the shoe Basil threw, and Boonyew's cackling unending laughter. Nice to know that our class has become closer now, unlike last year.
My calves are still aching like mad, I can't walk down the stairs properly. Hope theyll be fine by Wednesday's PE! And it was really nice to hear friends saying that my hair is fine/cute, though I'm still extremely traumatised by the experience.
I hope this flame will keep going, keep me going all the way to my A levels!
I WILL BE A HARDWORKING STUDENT! (:
Saturday, July 11, 2009
i just found a cool blogshop, well it's cool because other than the fact that it's rather established and has lucky draws and free gifts and such, it's run by one of my seniors from secondary school! the collections are superb! anyway my stewardess cousin is also designing fashion, super cool, and her sister, another of my cousins, is going to become a policewoman! how exciting is that! wouldnt it be interesting if i could wear one of her designs for prom? but i think her apparel's quite high-end one so haha.
anyway i went to do a little research and my shoes used to retail for 74.35EUROS when they first came out! woo yayness!
YEA, CT2s are over! yayness. though i'm gonna start whacking books again.but yeah i enjoyed my two days of freedom! :D after history paper (which was sad because i went to do AFC like what the heck! oh noes i hope my JO essay can pull southeast asia up, i dont wanna fail and go for remedial!!) yesterday, sw xx con ger and i made our treacherous journey to ikea tampines for lunch! it was a significant day because it was the first time my adidas' encountered rainwater, but still lucky cos the fabric part didnt get wet, only the leather centre... and con was shielding me from the rain :) omg lunch was so good! we bought almost all the entrees and shared, so thats meatballs, meatball pasta, poached salmon, roasted chicken leg and fried chicken wings, shiokness! the wings were really oily though thats why they were good, and sw and i each had to eat half a wing more cos there were six! and we only bought one drink and just kept refilling!:D
then we took a walk around ikea, such a pleasant post-meal activity to do! went back to tampines one and shopped around! i wanna get clothes but just aint too lucky but anyway i was so caught up with window shopping that i didnt feel like going back to school anymore! but i still did cos i was the one who organised the kickabout so haha! but yes when i returned to school and played soccer it was so fun! the first round with the j3s and the teachers was crazy, the year2s were totally dying! all our faces were so pale and we didnt have the energy to even really shout haha! shows how much our fitness has deteriorated yeah? then rachel came on and she made an immediate impact haha! twas really fun la cos mr tan quite funny also. then we mingled with the juniors and played many more games, and i truly enjoyed it cos i had the chance to do some linkup play with my mates like rachel, jiemin nat and all. i cramped too! one of the worst cramps ever. but i really enjoyed the sweatout session despite the blister i got on my foot. we played till we couldnt see the ball then went to old airport road for dinner as planned. had the take-number wantan mee and mutton soup and we talked until 2236hours when we jumped up and chionged home cos it was so late! i managed to reach home before 12, bathed then came online until like 4?!
(a moment ago i was feelg so irritated by my fringe and tried to clip it up with a paper clip and then suddenly i looked beside the laptop and tadaa! a hairclip!)
yeah and this morning i actually woke up at 8! hurried for breakfast with my parents (alw a nice thing to do - family and food) then took the bus down to coronation plaza where i met jingyi, LSM and yeelin to get some cereal and marshmallows. then we went to sheila's house (without her there; we're so well-integrated into that house already please after 4 years of massive invasion!) and ATTEMPTED to make something whose name i dont even know and the process was so weird and we were so traumatised by the oil and gooey marshmallow! it tasted really like werther's original! next time i can make pirated one already!
then we settled ourselves down and waited for sheila to return from her biology lecture! and surprise surprise! :D we had a hard time literally chopping up the thingum (a block of mixed cereal in caramel topped with awkward looking honey stars:)! it was so dangerous cos we were really trying to saw it up can! haha but quite nice luh! then we went to curry wok for lunch (delicious!) and went down to the art museum. i had such a good time talking to jingyi about things; man she's the one la! thanks so much :) yup so we visited TransportAsian, An Unbroken Line and near-sighted joachim gomez (who looks really, really good in person) and traipsed down to the 8Q wing of the museum for the At Home Abroad and This is Not a Print! exhibitions. I never knew the 8Q existed until today! we had to follow the arrows on the floor to get there which was quite cute. And i think the SOTA kids are seriously lucky; they get to dabble in contemporary art at such a young age! AND exhibit their works at a public, national gallery! How honourable is that. And i think some of the works are promising so kudos to them!
Some works i enjoyed - the photography screening called Pasengero at TransportAsian, it really rang out to me because i've always been amazed by the subtle, unknown interactions amongst people sharing the same transport. And the idea of transience showcased by the artist was poignant, the photos and text easily comprehended. I guess it was a really accessible work, esp for amateurs like me!
Was also amazed by Flights of Fancy from the same exhibition and The White Book. And the one with the photos of different pushcarts from various parts of Southeast Asia; I just have a certain liking toward elements of culture from the region! This are just the more memorable ones from TransportAsian.
At An Unbroken Line it'd have to be the paintings of the tigers and the cheetahs? The outlines weren't apparent but just so apparent. It's as if he never planned the paintings, but it just turned out well. Haha. I have an extremely limited ability in appreciating the technicalities of art pieces, YL is one person so much pro-er (along with TSY who didnt come): talking about composition and perspective etc.
And then at At Home Abroad, Ming Wong's short film was intriguing AND an eye opener omg cos we watched our first ADULT scene, even though it was warped and meant to be artificial we were still quite disturbed haha! And we joked that it was the first M18 for Sheila, and i realised i was the only one there still not 18! heheh :) But it was a really fun film i felt, despite its darker undertones (anyway it was a remaking of an older German film).
I need to revisit jaychou's music someday, i haven't properly sat down to appreciate his recent works, just cos i didnt really like some of the songs the first time i heard them. Ain't doing justice to him! Like i didnt even know how geiwoyishougedeshijian sounds like? And i really wanna learn the lyrics to his newer songs, like how i can sing his older songs from like album no. 2 to 5 or 6.
alright gotta go type some emails now, toodles!
Monday, July 06, 2009
Quite a twist in events;i never told her how what she did made my life much easier,and now she's going the other way. None of my business i know,it's just one of life's peculiar nooks and at least it's happening only now and not earlier. Sigh what's with the world,or what's with me.
CT2s start tomorrow,here's just a lil getaway for me on the net. I told myself if i'd be entitled to an hour on the comp if i woke up before 830. and i did! :) Can't believe it's the 4th bloc of tests I'll be having in VJ already,and it's as if for every one that i've been through,including the one i'm gonna face tomorrow,i ain't prepared. Just gonna go in and see how it goes. What's wrong with me right? Somehow,though,I'm still hopeful about the NEXT one (prelims)... I really wanna get down to mugging hard after CTs,and i'm gonna start experiencing the life of a normal student without soccer trainings and all...
I shall have to limit my post-CT activities to the sole weekend after and get down to my books again. All i'll do is... Go to the SAM,eat ikea and old airport road and play soccer,cut my hair... I wanna play badminton too=/ I hope to start volunteering at the IMH again regularly,hopefully that will be my only non-academic-related activity frm now on. It's truly a meaningful thing to do plus i need to get my acknowledgement slip for t3a :/
My As actually end on 23nov,i believe it's the earliest amongst everyone in VJ! cos if you don't take my subj comb, either you take bio/physics or you take lit (most likely unless youre a tiny minority), and both those subjs end later than us :) but its sucky though that we're taking our chem mcq and international history papers on the same day!! anyway i'll be taking my econs paper on my birthday but im fine with that since freedom would be near by then :)
And one thing i'm gonna do after my As, while evryone's still embroiled in that misery is To visit all the museums under the NHB!! enjoying my free entry while it lasts!! So thats number 1! Oh and i hope to get an internship too,i really really do. Otherwise/if i have time i hope to earn some money too. Our europe trip's supposed to take place next yr! Oh noes! And then what about perth :(
Shan't think about all these things so soon,focus on the now and present :)
See you on 11jul.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Just as I was immersing in a little joy and happiness, some things had to happen that disappointed me greatly. I didn't get to participate in the G&G programme and regardless of why (I still haven't found out), I'm just disappointed because I had been looking forward to it for a long time and I can remember signing up for it eagerly. Sadly, I missed my opportunity unknowingly and it still is a mystery to me.
And I was initially disappointed with my SAT scores as well, especially the writing bit and also cos my brother criticised me a little. But that's done and dusted and I don't think they're that bad actually, considering I didn't spend hell loads of time on it. So yeah if that's what a week of intensive work can get me, so be it. Not like it's really really bad anyway.
Then again these couple of gloomy days have been brightened by a few incidents, such as dear az's surprise email that really lightened me up and wanxin's helpful friend who informed me so much regarding the G&G programme. He was really super nice and I can't believe he knew who I was before this and even thought I had pulled out cos I was too busy with soccer when he didnt see me at the first event.
Nice people.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Perhaps I'm confused,but no I don't wanna think about it. Cos it ain't my matter and ain't my affair.
I just know that life's been beautiful since you came in; it's probably the only thing keeping me happy, though not the only thing keeping me going, it's definitely painting colours in my life :)
Just a short exchange is enough.
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i'm still surviving...just a photo i took at the ACM for pure aesthetic purpose, goodbye and goodnight
